Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

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Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference. My first original, time for open mic!

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What does a Spanish speaking ghost say when they like you?

Mi Ghosta!!

Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle?

They like horsin' around.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving

What is the definition of torque?

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.

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Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc?

A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!

How does Harry Potter travel about?

Walking -Jk Rolling

Hermione Jokes More Hermione Jokes

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

Quidditch Jokes More Quidditch Jokes

Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe?

Because they have a quidditch.

How is prison like quidditch?

The game ends when they catch the snitch