Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

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Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

What tends to satisfy thirst the most?

Waterboarding.

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why'd the cookie go to the hospital?

It was feeling a little crumby.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

What does an Elephant use as a tampon?

A sheep

Moment Jokes More Moment Jokes

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

What do you get when you send a duck backwards in time to the moment before you sent the duck?

A Pair-a-ducks.