Tend Jokes

Why do the rich enjoy tending to their gardens?

Because the they have an excuse to buy hose

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do humans mainly use the decimal number system?

It's just what we tend to do

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

What's the problem with leptokurtic data sets?

They tend to be mean.

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

What did the botanist say to the plant he was tired of tending to?

Grow away.

How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

What has blonde hair, blue eyes and tends to ailed animals?

A VeterinArian.

What does a pimp do when his garden needs tending?

He grabs a hoe.

What do monks, rabbis, and Mormon priests have in common with brains?

The all tend to be found enclosed within temples.

Why do software engineers tend to not care about trigger warnings?

They're not trigger errors.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations?

They both tend to shoot up schools.

Why do melons tend to have large weddings?

They cantaloupe

What tends to satisfy thirst the most?

Waterboarding.

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'

What's the worst thing about ancient history class?

The teachers tend to Babylon.

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Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

What elephant and a canary and in common?

They both can't ride bicycles.

Hoe Jokes More Hoe Jokes

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What do you call a group of hoes in a bathroom?

r/showerthoughts

Self Jokes More Self Jokes

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

What's the best dating service in India?

Connect the dots. (I'll see my self out.)

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !

What happened to the body builder ...whose favorite gym closed down?

He was depressed.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?

A complaint Bernard!

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What did the horse say to Santa?

Nothing, horses can not speak.

What has four legs and is made out of wood?

A horse.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

A: He was hit by a bus

Why did Frosty drop his pants?

Because he's a pervert that likes showing people his snowballs.

War Jokes More War Jokes

Which war had the most overweight soldiers?

VietNOMNOMNOM

How does Greenland win a war?

Nuuks.