Why do the rich enjoy tending to their gardens?

Because the they have an excuse to buy hose

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Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

What kind of gardening is done in the hood?

Weeding

Where is your wife ?

In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

Whats the difference between a kink and a fetish?

A kink is something put in a hose, a fetish is something she wants to put in your hose.

Why are fire trucks always red?

You'd turn red if someone pulled on your hose wouldn't you?

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What do you call a Russian ninja?

Shneakoff ( I apologise, this is my first ever post so I'm using that as my excuse)

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

Why do software engineers tend to not care about trigger warnings?

They're not trigger errors.

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.