Why do the rich enjoy tending to their gardens?

Because the they have an excuse to buy hose

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Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

It made him wed his plants!

What's white, digs holes in your garden and helps with headaches?

A paracetamole!

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

Why are fire engines red?

You would be too if you were running down the road with your hose hanging out!

Why are fire trucks always red?

You'd turn red if someone pulled on your hose wouldn't you?

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What excuse did the unemployed cellist give for going dutch with his date?

He's flat Baroque...

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why do adrenaline junkies enjoy camping?

Because it is in tents

What do you call a person who enjoy mondays?

Unemployed

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

What tends to satisfy thirst the most?

Waterboarding.

What's the problem with leptokurtic data sets?

They tend to be mean.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the Ferguson protesters not participate in Black Friday?

Because they have already looted everything they would have bought anyway.

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....