What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What would santa be if he was a farmer?

A jolly rancher.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

What do you get when you cross Christmas and a Duck?

A Christmas-Quacker!

Merry Jokes More Merry Jokes

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference?

Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P).

Why is Kevin Hart the opposite of Michael Schumacher?

His life improved after he met the rock.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

Why was the nun named "NPN"?

She was a trans-sister! I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke

What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What type of cow produces both milk and potatos?

Your Mother.

What did the young witch say to her mother ?

Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !

Ho Ho Ho Jokes More Ho Ho Ho Jokes

Why does santa say ho ho ho?

Because three hos are better than one!

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!