Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What do you call someone who would do anything for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?

A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

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Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Where does a cow go when he is so upset he doesn't feel like talking?

A moo'd specialist.

What did the farmer say after he fed his cows pot?

the Steaks are high."

Terrible Joke Jokes More Terrible Joke Jokes

What did the testicle say to the other testicle?

Between you and me, I think something's up." I'm slightly tipsy, this is probably a terrible joke. Merry Christmas!

What do you call a smelly man who tells terrible jokes?

PUN-GENT

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common?

They both have ornamental balls

What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?

It was wound up already.

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

Why did the skeleton not attend prom?

He had no body to go with.

Baltimore Jokes More Baltimore Jokes

What do you call a riot in Baltimore?

Target practice.

What do you get when you burn Baltimore?

Baltiless

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week