Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What do you call someone who would do *anything* for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?

A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

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Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?

Reprimand from the university ethics board and immediate withdrawal of all research grants.

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?

A merry Christmas to ewe

Merry Round Jokes More Merry Round Jokes

Why were you driving around in circles and laughing?

Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round.

What do you do if a purple elephant and a multicolored horse are following you?

get off the merry-go-round! :)

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go straight for the juggler.

What's the difference between a fraternity and a gang?

Gangs don't have to pay for friends.

Santa Clause Jokes More Santa Clause Jokes

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 ho's.

Permission Jokes More Permission Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

What's the most popular sports channel in Mexico?

ESPOL

Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?

Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.