What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer?

Finding out it's curable.

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Rug Jokes More Rug Jokes

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

How does Spongebob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What is Oscar Pistorius's new favourite band?

Bullets For My Valentine