What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning?

A: Because he can't see through the wall.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What do you get when you kiss a bird?

Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!

What do you call a Spaniard kissing a door?

A Conquistador!

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

Hog Jokes More Hog Jokes

Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

They hog the Schwing set.

Why do pigs make good spies?

A: They're excellent at going in-hog-nito.