What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

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Why did you leave your previous job?

ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.

What rhymes and let's you instantly know a redditor is a moron?

Purple circle.

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Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day