Valentine Day Jokes

Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day?

A hug and a little quiche.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

How do single people honor valentine's day?

By Celibating!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!"

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

You might also enjoy:

Independence Day Jokes More Independence Day Jokes

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

Sweetie Jokes More Sweetie Jokes

What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Radical Feminist Jokes More Radical Feminist Jokes

What is the difference between a default subreddit mod and a radical feminist?

Nothing.

What do radical feminists and Game of Thrones have in common?

All men must die.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

She named him Oedipus.

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way."

St. Valentine Day Jokes More St. Valentine Day Jokes

What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?

What day is it " "Friday." "Shepherd's Pie."

What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?

Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why did Cersei Lannister sent princess Myrcella to Dorne?

She knew her family history a little too well. Myrcella had two brothers.

Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?

Because they needed to be ad-dressed!

Single People Jokes More Single People Jokes

How do single people honor valentine's day?

By Celibating!

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

Why was ex so lonely at the party?

Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.

Why couldn't Miley Cyrus go to the party?

She had to go t'work instead.