How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the deaf, blind, mute, handicapped kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did one amorous flea say to the other?

I love you aw-flea.

Why did Spock dump his wife?

because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

How many true friends do you believe you have?

Me: Define "true friend." Shrink: Someone you feel you can tell anything. Me: 11,419.

Why are atheists afraid of exponents?

They don't believe in a higher power.

Celebrate Jokes More Celebrate Jokes

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations?

Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution..... (I'll show myself out)

God Jokes More God Jokes

What instrument does God play?

He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: "Our God is a cellist God."

What do you say when God sneezes?

Go bless yourself.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

Whopper?

McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.

What is closer the moon or London?

To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day?

A hug and a little quiche.