What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What does 9/11 and cancer have in common?

They were both inside Jobs

How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship?

9/11

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

What do you get when you watch 'Cinderella' backwards?

A woman in her place...

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!