What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What's the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?

You can't keep milking the dead cow for 13 years

What do I do?

Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day