Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

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What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off ?

Ban-she ban-she !

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

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Where did the promiscuous girl from Belgium go to plant her flowers?

ze Hoegaarden.

What's grey carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill ?

A get wellephant !

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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!