Why is Mike Pence magic?

He can turn fruits to vegetables

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What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?

Ayeee-Matey

How do they all sit?

They turn the stool upside down

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What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

lettuce turnip the beet

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Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy?

Because he ate five fruits a day!

What did the pastor say when informing two fruits that they couldn't marry?

No, you cantaloupe.