Rug Jokes

How does Spongebob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

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What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

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Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

What's the definition of Necrophilia?

The urge to pop a cold one.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day?

A hug and a little quiche.

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you calll a woman that people sit on ?

Cher !

Why women fail at saving money?

Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom...

Carpet Bombing Jokes More Carpet Bombing Jokes

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

Pixar Jokes More Pixar Jokes

What's your favourite Pixar film?

Up, yours " "No need to be like that I was only asking"

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Nervous Breakdown Jokes More Nervous Breakdown Jokes

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ?

A chameleon on a tartan rug !

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost?

It had a nervous breakdown.

Qi Jokes More Qi Jokes

What was Confucius' favorite comfort food?

Macaroni and Qi.

What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel?

A fireside rug you can get a good hump on.