Rug Jokes

How does Spongebob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

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Tape Lean Jokes More Tape Lean Jokes

Where were you on the night of the 5th?

Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape " leans in "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call someone who doesn't like food fights?

A pasta-fist.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Dislike Jokes More Dislike Jokes

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?

Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"

Why do mathematicians dislike cloth rugs?

They prefer fur mats.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ?

Lame Joke Haploid

How can you tell when an idiot's depressed?

Go stand in front of a mirror

Test Jokes More Test Jokes

Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff?

He wanted to test out his new air brakes.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road?

To get to the Otherside!

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

What do you do when you hear a woman got hit by a car?

Wonder how the hell a car got into the kitchen

Why don't women need umbrellas?

Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.