What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire?

Bernie.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your mother!

What has two legs and can't stand up?

Half a cat

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

How do we know Jesus was a man?

We've had to wait 2,000 years for his second coming.

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.