How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How are women and computers the same?

Neither take your 3.5 inch floppy anymore.. unless you pay extra.

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?

Patty O'Furnature