Musician Jokes

What do you call a guy who hangs around a bunch of musicians?

A drummer!!!!!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning?

He was conducting.

What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

Why are some musicians so antisocial?

Because all they want is tonics and dominance.

Why can you trust a musician?

Because he always gives sound advice. Ba dum tsss.

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

What kind of investments do musicians make?

Sound investments.

What did the musician say when he went back in time?

I'll be Bach.

Why was the piano invented?

So that the musician would have a place to put their beer.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Which musician is the most generous?

Cher

What is a guy who hangs out with musicians called?

A singer

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

How do you get a musician off of your porch?

You pay for the pizza.

What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of 4.

What's the difference between a musician and a large cheese pizza?

A large cheese pizza can feed a family of four.

Why was the musician arrested?

He got in treble.

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.

What do you call people who hang out with musicians?

Drummers

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

What did the dead blues musician sing?

Didn't wake up this morning..."

Why did they arrest the musician?

He got into treble.

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds.

What Happens When You Cross A Programmer And A Musician?

An Algo-rhythm.

What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket?

I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet.

How did the musician catch his fish?

He castanet

What do you call it when one musician abuses another?

An act of violins.

How does a musician make a million dollars?

They start with 2 million.

What do you call an emperor who's also a musician?

A rock-czar

What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show?

Drummers.

Why did the musician hate getting drunk?

He always had treble finding his keys!

Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?

So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

You might also enjoy:

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you call a Chinese Podiatrist?

Hee Lan To

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What on Earth happened?

The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.

What happened to the man running in front of a car?

He got tired. The man running behind the car -- he got exhausted.

Peak Jokes More Peak Jokes

What does a noise musician order at a Chinese restaurant?

Peaking duck!

What's worse than peaking in high school?

Climaxing to middle schoolers.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a carpenter and a construction worker?

30 IQ points. This, as any carpenter will tell you, isn't a joke.

What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Stephen King?

OJ's truth is stranger than King's fiction.

Chord Jokes More Chord Jokes

Why did the chord get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was Aminor

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

the guy likes his power chords too much.

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Thousands because Confucious say many hands make light work.

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Musician Car Jokes More Musician Car Jokes

How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

You take the pizza delivery sign off

How do you reduce wind-drag on a musician's car?

Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

What's the difference between the 7 dwarfs and a girl's high school track team?

The 7 dwarfs are a bunch of cunning runts...