Dead Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I've never been inside a Porsche. Nor do I have 12 Porsches in my garage.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't use a pitchfork on the bowling balls.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?

A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

What's funnier than a dead baby?

Dead baby in clowns costume.

What's worse than one dead baby nailed to ten trees?

One live baby nailed to ten trees.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you can throw them.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?

Depends on how you throw (idk if this is a repost)

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?

Well the first noticeable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

Why are bad jokes like dead babies?

Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a box of dead babies ?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently not 8

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?

I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

What do you get when you throw a dead baby off a cliff?

A pleasant erection

How many dead babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them

What is worse than finding 100 dead babies in a trash bin?

Finding 1 dead Baby in 100 trash bins.

What's the difference between a Porsche and a trash bag full of dead babies?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby?

I don't have a Lamborghini

How do you make a dead baby float ?

Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.

This joke may have profanity.

What's worse than a Jimmy John's full of dead babies?

A Subway full of live ones.

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and ferrari ?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person

What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

How many dead babies does it take to fill up my house?

One more.

What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?

Hiding the erection.

What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby?

I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.

What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage bag?

A dead baby in two garbage bags.

How many dead babies can you fit in a phone booth?

78.5

What's the difference between a dead baby and my ex-girlfriend?

There isn't one...

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was attached to my bumper...

What's worst than a dead baby in a trash can?

A dead baby in three trash cans.

What's the difference between a million dollar car and a pile of dead babies?

There's no million dollar car in my garage.

What's the difference between a redditor and a dead baby?

The redditor never gets gold

What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.

What's the best thing about a dead baby?

The aftertaste.

What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

There's only one you can unload with a pitchfork. Edit: Who said something about dead babies?

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes?

I don't have a mercedes in my garage!

What diapers should you put on a dead baby?

Pamperspired.

What do Beethoven's 9th and a dead baby have in common?

They're both D-composed.

What's more fun than swinging a dead baby by a string?

Stopping it with a shovel!

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?

I don't have a corvette in my garage.

What do you call a dead baby floating in the middle of the ocean?

Bait.

Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby?

Stealing candy from a dead baby.

What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

What do you call a dead baby ,who fights crime?

Miscarriage of Justice

What do you call a dead baby hanging on a wall?

Art

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a convertable?

I keep one in my garage and one in my closet. Edit:typo.

How do you paint a wall with dead babies?

It depends how hard you throw them.

Whats the difference....?

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

How do you find an alive baby in a pile of dead babies?

With a pitchfork!

What's better than swinging a dead baby around a tether pole?

stopping it with a shovel

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe?

I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time

What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.

Whats red, white, and hangs from a telephone pole?

A dead baby shot out of a snowblower.

How many dead babies can fit inside a Bio-dumpster?

16

What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night?

Her dead baby.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.

How did the dead baby get across the road?

Me: How Her: It was stapled to the chicken. Me: .....

What is the hardest thing about staring at a pile of dead babies?

Possible NSFW) My erection.

This joke may have profanity.

What's worse than seven dead babies in a trash can?

One dead baby in seven trash cans. What's your dead baby joke

What's funnier than a crying baby?

A dead baby.

What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree?

The holocaust

How many dead babies does it take to confuse a blond woman?

to get to the other side....

What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby?

The dead baby can feed a family of four.

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

A dead baby in 6 trash cans.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

What's worse than a plastic bag filled with dead babies?

Nickelback

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.

What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby?

A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper.

What's worse than finding a dead baby in the garbage can?

Finding a dead baby in the recycle bin.

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bricks ?

Only one can be emptied with a pitchfork.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a bunch of dead babies?

I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

What's even worse than five dead babies in a dustbin?

One dead baby in five dustbins.

What's harder than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree?

Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees.

What's 12" long, rock hard in the morning, and makes a woman cry?

A dead baby.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a black man?

A dead baby can feed a family of four

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline?

I take my boots off to jump on the trampoline.

Whats the problem with running through a field of dead babies?

Your erection....

What's worse than 16 dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to 16 trees.

Whats worse than five dead babies in a trash can?

One dead baby in five trash cans

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla?

There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo.

You might also enjoy:

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike?

It could be your bike. EDIT: Spelling.

What is the similarity between a black man and a bike?

They both only work with a chain on.

Trash Jokes More Trash Jokes

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Where do trailer park miscarriages go?

Out of the trash and into the garbage

Trash Can Jokes More Trash Can Jokes

What is worse than three kids in trash can?

One kid in three trash cans

What's worse than ten babies in one trash can?

One baby in ten trash cans.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

How do frat boys cut down trees?

With a sah, dude

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!

What's the difference between a moan and a scream?

About 3 inches

Art Student Jokes More Art Student Jokes

What's the difference between an arts student and a table?

A table can support itself

What's the difference between a large pizza and an art student?

A pizza can feed a family.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

What do you call an unconscious foot?

Coma-toes! (I made up this joke when I was 10.)

Why is the next Windows version 10 and not 9?

Because 7 ate(8) 9!

Bin Jokes More Bin Jokes

What did Elton John call his tribute to Mother Teresa?

Sandals in the Bin

What's an environmentalist's favorite part of a computer?

The recycle bin.