What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one.

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?

A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you get off of my cloud!" while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod get off of my ewe!"

What would a Scotsman call a mountain which is on the moon?

A moon-tain.

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ?

Scott !

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself