What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

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Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

x-post /r/puns Scotch.

What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?

The Rolling Stones say 'hey you, get off my cloud.' the Scotsman says 'hey MaCleod, get off my ewe.'

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

Trouser Jokes More Trouser Jokes

Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.