What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

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Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What's the difference between Mic Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mic Jagger says "Hey you, get off of my cloud". A Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!"

What do you call a Scotsman with gas after a dodgy curry?

Bravefart

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident?

That's offal

Trouser Jokes More Trouser Jokes

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.