Rip Jokes

What do you call an Arab who has a ripped body??

Osama Bin Liftin

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How did Jesus get so ripped?

He does crossfit.

What happens when redditors die?

RIP in box

How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?

DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip.

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Whole Foods?

Ripped off.

What did the Scotsman say when he ripped his trousers?

Och noo, me troosers!

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

What did one toilet roll say to another toilet roll?

People keep ripping me off.

What do you call a bad hairdresser who is also very expensive?

A rip-off.

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP

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Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

because they were a rip off

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

Who would win in a fight?

A bicycle wheel or an old book Well, it's hard to say. One's pumped and the other's ripped.

What did the vegetarian do to get ripped?

He juiced...

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident?

That's offal

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

What do you call a cheap vasectomy?

A rip off.

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

What did the drifter say to the person he hit ?

RIP my E-brake

Where did Christ get his ripped abs?

Cross fit

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

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Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

Reposte Jokes More Reposte Jokes

What did the Ceasar of reddit say?

I came, I upvoted, I reposted.

What do you get when you slice ice cream?

Slice cream! ... I think I'll join the reposting group now...

Good View Jokes More Good View Jokes

Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles?

The Betty Ford Clinic

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Steve Jobs die too soon?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Why is Lamar Odom so much fun...?

Because, he's just dying to party.

Velcro Jokes More Velcro Jokes

Why did the skinhead have Velcro on his boots?

He was a lacist.

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the women cross the road?

Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen !!!

Why did the Skeleton cross the road?

Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Answer: To go to the body shop.

Rip Body Jokes More Rip Body Jokes

What do you call an Arab who has a ripped body??

Osama Bin Liftin

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Steve Irwin Jokes More Steve Irwin Jokes

How does Steve Irwin open a lock made of tears?

With a "Cry-key!"

What do you call a dead Australian Wrestler?

Stone Cold Steve Irwin