How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

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Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

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Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP

How did the farmer feel after he ripped his clothing?

Let's just say he felt overall sadness.