How did Jesus get so ripped?

He does crossfit.

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Why did Jesus get a ticket?

He tried to skip the Cross walk.

What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion?

Well, the cross was a big plus

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What do you call it when you get ripped from steroid use?

Ill-gotten gains

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

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What's the hardest part about winning crossfit?

Being 5 foot 6

What did Jesus do to lose weight?

Crossfit