What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why don't people hang out with the mushroom?

He isn't a fungi.

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter?

Cottontales

How does a cat tell time??

In meowers

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What did the Terminator say when he decided to take up piano?

I'll be bach.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Hard Jokes More Hard Jokes

What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?

Skinning the vegan.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb. The hard part is getting them in there.

Vegan Jokes More Vegan Jokes

How did the townspeople react when the mayor presented them with a cost efficient, vegan protein source?

They chia'd.

How do you know whether somebody is a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Crossfit Jokes More Crossfit Jokes

What workout routine did Jesus stick to best?

Crossfit

How do you know if somebody does crossfit?

They are probably in better shape than you.