What did the atheist say when he saw Jesus?

I can't believe this. What did he tell his atheist friend? You won't believe this.

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How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer's?

A. How can you tell if someone has Alzheimers?

How do you know when someone smokes weed?

Dont worry, they'll tell you.

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What workout routine did Jesus stick to best?

Crossfit

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

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Why can't Athiests solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Why can't Democrats sell pants?

They believe in a single-pair system.

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Why are atheists poor?

because its a non-prophet organisation.

Why don't atheists use exponents?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.