What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

What do Chinos say when you take them off?

This was incredibly clever when I first thought of it but then I did some research...the closest they get to being Italian is that George Clooney was a "pioneer" for them: Reading that makes me never want to wear them again.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

How do we know Jesus wasn't good with the ladies?

He only got nailed once

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What do you call a piece of pasta that doesn't have any friends?

Cannelonely!

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

Toast Jokes More Toast Jokes

What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

What would happen if Russia ran out of vodka?

Well, my dear reddit, in nature there is law of conservation of matter. Therefore, if the vodka disappeared somewhere, it would appear somewhere else. And then there would be Russia.

Miracle Whip Jokes More Miracle Whip Jokes

What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?

Sink-o de Mayo"

What is a masochist's favorite condiment?

miracle whip