Why did Jesus drop out of the carpentry business?

He got too attached to his work.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do you never see a church with free Wi-Fi?

Because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

What time?

Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

What do you get when you drop a baby into a wood chipper?

Well an erection of course.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Attach Jokes More Attach Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

Why are branches attached to trees?

Because they stick

Carpentry Business Jokes More Carpentry Business Jokes

Why did Jesus drop out of the carpentry business?

He got too attached to his work.

What do you call a carpentry business that only hires midgets?

The Whittle Business *badum ching*