What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

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What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills :D

Why does Paris have tree lined streets?

Because the German army likes to march in the shade.

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Why are birthday's good for you?

Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!

How do tree surgeons live?

Life on the hedge!

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What is something that mother giraffes have but no other animal has?

Baby giraffes.

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ?

A little bear !

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Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

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What do you call an Orangutan, a tortoise and a hamster in cars?

Top Gear,

Who would win in a race?

The Tortoise or the Reddit Servers

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How much for it?

Just take it "For free What's the catch " No strings attached. "You son of a bit.."

Why did Jesus drop out of the carpentry business?

He got too attached to his work.

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Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?

So he could badly go where no man has gone before.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.