Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

A: Root position cords.

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the black kid get for Christmas?

My bike

What did the strawberry say on December 25th?

Berry Christmas!

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

He knows where all the bad girls live

Where does the zombie president live?

In the wight house.

Little Green Man Jokes More Little Green Man Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

How do you raise a baby elephant ?

With a fork lift truck !

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

How does Snoop Dogg get revenge?

Faux pho fo' foe. Served cold of course. I also doubt Snoop has many enemies.

Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

Chef Jokes More Chef Jokes

What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets?

A: An onion.

How does the chef prepare the chicken?

The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"

Toadstool Jokes More Toadstool Jokes

Why don't fairies live under toadstools?

Because there's not mushroom!

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.