Little Green Man Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

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What do little green men do to stay in shape?

They do Yoda.

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the little girl's parents want for Christmas?

A better son.

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?

He wanted to raised stewed beef!

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call the horse that lives next door?

Your NEIGHHHbor Credit: 6y/o nephew

What does a Native American Biologist live in?

ATP

Toadstool Jokes More Toadstool Jokes

What is the opposite of leapfrog?

Toadstool

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

Chef Jokes More Chef Jokes

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme. Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs?

PARSLEYMONIOUS

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

What do you do if you are driving your car in central Manhattan and you see a space man?

Park in it, of course.