Course Jokes

Why did the dyslexic fisherman go on a Paleo diet?

Because he was low crab of course.

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What's the instinctual response to a bad gym selfie?

A reflex of course.

Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Go chuck itself of course.

How do you catch digital fish?

With clickbait, of course!

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Where is the best place in town to buy marijuana?

High Street, of course.

What is the only bent straight line?

Its one direction of course.

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk?

Bottom of the fifth, of course.

What came first the egg or the Chicken?

the egg, of course. Isn't that what I just said?

What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane?

A pilot of course.

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How many of my fellow Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one of course, as we are highly efficient and have absolutely no sense of humour.

What is large and grey and shoots tourists in Africa?

An elefanatic, of course.

What do you get when you drop a baby into a wood chipper?

Well an erection of course.

What begins with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn, of course!

What do you call a bear that's been in the rain?

A drizzly bear, of course

What do you do if you are driving your car in central Manhattan and you see a space man?

Park in it, of course.

What's the difference between looking for a lost golf ball and Lady Godiva?

Looking for a lost golf ball is a hunt on a course.

What is Brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre, of course.

How the does man give his dead batteries away?

Free of charge, of course.

What's a pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet?

ARRGGHH" (R) Your response = (in a pirate voice of course) "You'd think it'd be the ARRGGHH but it actually be the SEA!!! (C)

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three... The one on the left The one on the right And of course, the Final Front Ear

How does a penman make his living?

He charges a calligra-fee of course!

What do you call a disobedient feline pirate?

A mew-tineer! And what do you call a genetically altered cow A moo-tant, of course!

How do you like it?

Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt Get outta the gutter pervs

What do you call someone who belongs in the kitchen?

A Chef of course...

How Many Hillary Supporters Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

Why NONE of course, they prefer to remain in the dark!

How do chemists get high?

they drop acid of course

How do you help a choking pig?

With the Ham-Lick maneuver of course

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

What is the new coin called?

A Shilling, of course.

Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming?

He thought it would help him with his hit detection.

What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?

Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal

What do you call a black man who flies a plane ?

A pilot, of course.

What's easier to unload, a truck full of bowling balls or a truck of babies?

The babies of course, you can use a pitchfork!

What letters are not in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail of course!

What width?

She replied: "with scissors of course."

Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?

Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise Oh, right, *of course* !"

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

What do The Police do to catch criminals easily?

Sting operation, of course!

What is the Easter Bunny's favourite sport?

Basket-ball of course!

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

Where do they weigh whales?

At the whale weigh station of course.

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?

Angel food cake of course!

How do inmates pay for things in prison?

With ConCurrency, of course.

When do you know that your career has gone south?

When you end up moving to South Korea, of course!

How does Snoop Dogg get revenge?

Faux pho fo' foe. Served cold of course. I also doubt Snoop has many enemies.

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

What type of phones do fish use?

Shellular*, of course...

What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus ?

A. FireWeb .... of course!

What's the difference between golf and Lady Godiva?

One is a hunt on a course.

Where do volcanoes go to relieve themselves?

The lavatory, of course!

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