How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three... The one on the left The one on the right And of course, the Final Front Ear

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Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle?

A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'

How do you get a retard to leave you alone?

Give him a small $1 million loan

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right?

Nothing... They've never met

What's the biggest joke of 2016?

Look a bit to the right.

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What do you get when you drop a baby into a wood chipper?

Well an erection of course.

What letters are not in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail of course!

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Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?

Because he was fighting the Klingons.

Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet ?

To boldly go where no man has been before !