Chuck Jokes

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A whole chuck-load.

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What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Go chuck itself of course.

Why are people without converse shoes dangerous?

Because they own none chucks.

How do the Chinese select their baby names?

They chuck a tin can down the stairs Ping Wong ching Pang

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

How much Norris?

Tongue twister) How much Norris could Chuck Norris chuck, if Chuck Norris could chuck Norris

How many nuns can a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

Nun.

Why are there no Chuck Norris knock-knock jokes?

Because Chuck only has to hit the door ONCE.

How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nunes?

None.

What's up, Chuck?

Not much, but my name's not Chuck" *vomits*

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What's an old woman taste like?

Depends ...

How much is a gram?

Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"

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What is a Catholic's favorite weapon?

Nun-chucks.

How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?

Nun chucks.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What do you call a lemon staring at an elderly lady?

Citric Flaccid

How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds?

Please wait...

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Why does everyone start to fight the day after Christmas?

Because it's Boxing Day!

Poison Jokes More Poison Jokes

How do chemists poison each other?

With a Pb & J sandwich

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones?

He wanted to buy stock options.

How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb?

How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do you call a six sided shape that's missing?

A hex-a-gone

What has six legs and goes "Hodeedo, hodeedo?

Three black guys about to miss the elevator

Presence Jokes More Presence Jokes

What did the Buddhist get for Christmas?

Presence.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas A: He could feel his presence!