City Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

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Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What city are you in when you drop your waffle on the beach?

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO...there you are

What city does Affirmative Action Aslan live?

Kathmandu.

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city?

Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

What is the definition of irony?

Having a democratic debate in a city that was destroyed by over 50 years of democratic rule.

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

What city would you be in if you dropped your waffle on the beach?

Sandy ego.

What city is the favorite place for anti-Semites?

Juno

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How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis?

Taking shellfies with their shellphones.

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man?

hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench. Badum-tsss

What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles?

San Diego

What do you call Abby who lives in the city?

Downtown Abby

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

Why is Paris the city of love?

Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ?

Osaka.

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Toulouse Jokes More Toulouse Jokes

What French city always surrenders first?

Toulouse

Where was France's military strategy developed?

Toulouse

Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Australian. Yes I know lions aren't jungle animals, but as per common nomenclature etc etc yadda yadda raspberry :)

Why is the ocean so salty?

Because the land never waves back

Irony Jokes More Irony Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman and a feminist?

A woman can understand irony and satire without being offended.

What do you call it when a blacksmith makes something white?

Irony.

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What do the English and Welsh have in common?

Kids are their definition of a good time.

What's the definition of a healthy virgin?

A: "One who has never been bed-ridden!"

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.?

His brother with the DVR

What do they call a virgin down in the south?

Faster than her brother!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does a National Geographic magazine or a JC Penney catalog have in common?

Sorry, the punchline is the joke. If you don't get it, ask your dad.

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?

They love to watch mistakes being made.

What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes?

Xu wong

French Jokes More French Jokes

What do you call an empty field?

The french army at the beginning of a war!

Which French novelist looked like a scrotum?

Balzac