City Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

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Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What city are you in when you drop your waffle on the beach?

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO...there you are

What city does Affirmative Action Aslan live?

Kathmandu.

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city?

Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

What is the definition of irony?

Having a democratic debate in a city that was destroyed by over 50 years of democratic rule.

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

What city would you be in if you dropped your waffle on the beach?

Sandy ego.

What city is the favorite place for anti-Semites?

Juno

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How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis?

Taking shellfies with their shellphones.

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man?

hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench. Badum-tsss

What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles?

San Diego

What do you call Abby who lives in the city?

Downtown Abby

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

Why is Paris the city of love?

Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ?

Osaka.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask "where am I?

and whatever they say I runaway screaming "Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"

What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman?

Do you sell flip-flips?"

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a zombie that runs fast?

A zoombie.

Why was the baseball player arrested?

He was involved in a hit-and-run.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

What do you call a bear that's been in the rain?

A drizzly bear, of course

Bay Jokes More Bay Jokes

Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?

Because they don't want to be bagels.

What kind of seagull flies over a bay?

A Bay-gull

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

What did Stevie Wonder say when he found out he was blind...?

At least I'm not black"

Perfect Time Jokes More Perfect Time Jokes

What's the perfect time to go to the dentist?

Two thirty.

What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball?

Because it's covered with horsehide!

What did the horse say when he fell over?

Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."

Big Jokes More Big Jokes

Why are you wearing such a large shirt?

Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.

How do I big it?

Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.