City Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

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Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What city are you in when you drop your waffle on the beach?

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO...there you are

What city does Affirmative Action Aslan live?

Kathmandu.

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city?

Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

What is the definition of irony?

Having a democratic debate in a city that was destroyed by over 50 years of democratic rule.

What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

What city would you be in if you dropped your waffle on the beach?

Sandy ego.

What city is the favorite place for anti-Semites?

Juno

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How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Which city u cannot enter?

ELECTRICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis?

Taking shellfies with their shellphones.

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city

What would Fred Flintstone say if you asked him which city had the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world?

Abu Dhabi Dooooooo!

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man?

hopefully not a repost) The city supports the bench. Badum-tsss

What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles?

San Diego

What do you call Abby who lives in the city?

Downtown Abby

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

Why is Paris the city of love?

Hard P and a soft A. Modified from comment section of reddit

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ?

Osaka.

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What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

What will ISIS be called once it is destroyed?

WasWas

Metro Gnome Jokes More Metro Gnome Jokes

What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car?

Tired.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How was your paper?

Me: I wrote what I knew, I copied what I didn't knew.

How do you know if your friend has an iPhone?

They tell you.

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

What do you call it when your child teaches you something they are interested in?

A: Learning from your mistakes.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the difference between a worm and an apple ?

Have you ever tried worm pie !

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay?

I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing.

Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Because they all live in kansas.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

What do you call a dog on the beach?

Sandy Claws Merry Christmas

What did A and B look for at the beach?

A "C" gull!