Brother Jokes

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, Marc, with a C. Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

What did the chemist say when he caught his brother stealing halogens?

Bro, mine

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's faster than a black man stealing a T.V?

A: His brother running with the V.C.R

What do you call three brothers taking acid together?

Triplets

Where's Finnick?

Odair he is! Obligatory: My brother told this to me while watching Mockingjay P2.

Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him "Elvis the pelvis"?

Because he had a brother named Enos.

What two friends belonging to two different alien species call each other?

Brothers from Another Mothership.

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

What's the definition of a redneck virgin?

A 7 year-old girl who can run faster than her brothers.

What do you call a white girl that runs faster than her brothers?

A redneck virgin

What did the token black guy say to the other black guy who walks in the party?

Hey man ! Who do you know here ? This is a Brothers only party !

What do you call a wheel with clothes?

Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother :D

What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother ?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

Why did the brother octopi look so alike?

They were itentacle twins.

What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike?

Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget.

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

What is a Redneck virgin?

A 7-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!

What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V?

His brother holding the VCR.

Why don't many Greek men move to other countries?

They don't want to leave their brothers behind

What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

What do the Unabomber and a girl from Alabama have in common?

They were both fingered by their brother.

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?

A virgin

What do you call a Targaryen girl who can outrun her brothers?

A virgin.

Who's there ! Brother ! Brother who ?

Brother-ation I've forgotten your name !

What's a priest on an egg called?

A brother

Why don't robots have any brothers?

They all have transisters.

What do you love most in the world?

Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh

How do I tell them apart?

Her brother has a moustache.

How many are you?

We are three. - Three - Me and my brother. - You have a brother - No why do you ask

Why so glum Chum?

asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?

Inzest

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him?

Get off me, homes!" My brother heard this on Tosh.

Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Why don't computers have any brothers?

They are all trans-sisters.

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?

She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."

What position does your brother play in the school football team ?

Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !

How do pirates get their hair to stand up?

Sea-men. My brother told me that

What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him?

Heavy!"

Why did Cersei Lannister sent princess Myrcella to Dorne?

She knew her family history a little too well. Myrcella had two brothers.

How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin?

See if she can run faster than her brothers.

What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear?

Missile Toe!

Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?

Because they have trans-sisters.

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?

Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose !

What did a black twin called his brother before they're born?

Inmates

What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.?

His brother with the DVR

What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend?

When she says she thinks of you like a brother.

How do you know God isn't black?

Because it's not "I is who I is" My brother is 35...

Why did the monster stop playing with his brother?

He got tired of kicking him around.

Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?

Because he went crackers.

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over?

He used a Luigi Board.

How can you tell a redneck girl is a virgin?

She can run faster than her brother.

Why are you putting the saddle on backward ?

Brother: How do you know which way I'm going

Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?

Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.

What do rednecks say after they broke up?

We can still be brother and sister.

What do they call a virgin down in the south?

Faster than her brother!

What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!"

What does a Duggar girl and the Unabomber have in common?

They have both been fingered by their brother.

You might also enjoy:

Superman Jokes More Superman Jokes

Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana?

Because he was in a wheelchair.

Why is Superman wanted by the police?

He is wanted for being the Man of Steal.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What were the polite Egyptians running away from?

DaRUDE Sandstorm

What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho". ;;

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What sound does a debugging Web Developer make?

Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. *only true Web Developers will understand* *original joke*

Why are most Muslims broke all the time?

They never understood the concept of piggy banks.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?

An algorithm.

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

What celebrity is most likely to stab you?

James Blunt

How did you get malaria from a stab?

Malaryan Steel."

Mario Jokes More Mario Jokes

What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim.

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board. Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

Dream Jokes More Dream Jokes

Who is Superman's brother?

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

What's the difference between dreams and memes?

I haven't given up on my memes yet

Canada Jokes More Canada Jokes

What do they call Chipotle in Canada?

Chipotl-eh

What's Canada's favorite board game?

Sorry