Portrait Jokes

What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

I drew drew

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What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ?

His portrait only need one nail

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

Why is it not safe to doze on trains?

Because they run over sleepers.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

How much equations does it take to finish a math test?

Only Sum

What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

Artist Jokes More Artist Jokes

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

2b Jokes More 2b Jokes

What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil?

I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B.

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

Draw Jokes More Draw Jokes

Why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write?

Me: Wanna buy my book Them: No. Me: That's why I own a hot dog stand.

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

What's the difference between a pig and a ham sandwich?

You can get a prosecutor to indict the ham sandwich.

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

Why was Shakespeare always a good teammate to have?

Because no matter the sport, he would always play write