Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

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What would you like it to be ?

A joke .

What kind of bear likes the rain?

A drizzley bear.

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Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?

Join the Hare Force.

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How many volunteers do we have for the army?

384 sir" "okay round them up" "400 sir"

Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

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Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?

First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way."

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Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy?

They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.

Why are Werewolves such pessimists?

They refuse to look at the silver lining.