Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

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Why did Jesus run off the airplane?

He didn't like the Pilate

What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?

They 'turnip' their noses.

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Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

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What do you call an army of corn?

The Musket - ears

What do you call an army of gorilla soldiers?

Boko Harambe.

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What did Shakespeare name his pet pig?

Hamlet.

What's Shakespeare's favorite video game?

Sonnet the hedgehog

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Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!