Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

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Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

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Why did the Pasta join a dating website?

Because he was cannelloni.

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

A StayGosaurus

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What is an army of blue babies on horseback called?

A navy infantry cavalry

Where do kings keep there armies?

In their sleevies.

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Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?

First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare

What did Shakespeare name his pet pig?

Hamlet.

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What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

Why don't Muslims fill out online forms?

Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah.