Red Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

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How do you take a Mexican family portrait?

Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light.

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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No MAN'S sky!

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None a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

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I'm getting the fudge outta here!"

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How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. He is drunk, and he tells the bulb to screw itself.

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A blonde at a flashing red light.

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What do you get if you cross a Mexican with an Irishman?

A redhead who can tan.

Who says building a border wall wont work?

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still dont have any Mexicans.