Rome Jokes

Why won't you find any gondolas in the Eternal City?

Because Rome wasn't built in a bay.

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How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

Why do americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.

Who ate a lot and conquered Rome?

Atilla the Hungry.

What did Cesar say when the people of Rome wanted to re-empower the Tribune?

Oh, Plebes.

Where's the best place to explore?

Rome.

What's the best city to search the World Wide Web in?

Rome.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

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When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

When in Rome do as the Romans you know?

Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

x always equals 10

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

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Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?

You might get a hole in one.

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

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What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

What do all my friends and my dad have in common?

i didnt have either growing up

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How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?

A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

How many years of experience do you have?

50 - Really You are 40 years old - I had lots of overtime

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What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?

He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."

Why can't you try someone for grave digging?

Because it was found on the ground.

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Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways?

All that Muslim hatred can really run you down.

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

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What's the first place Dora explored?

The mexican border.

Where's the best place to explore?

Rome.

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Why was math so easy in ancient Rome?

x always equals 10

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

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What's a redditors worst fear?

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.