Why couldn't the American leave Russia?

He was snowden

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What is Mario's favorite search browser?

YYYYAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I will leave now)

What does a math teacher say when they leave?

calc-U-LATER

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Why did the American spend an entire winter in a Russian hotel?

They say he was snowed in.

What do you call a American football team full of retards?

Special teams

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Who's the top selling author in Russia?

Salman Rush B

Why do most people from Russia wear track suits?

Because they are Russin'