Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

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Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

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Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia?

Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters.

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Where did Putin tell the protesters where to meet?

Crimea River

What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother ?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

What's a skunk's favourite game in school?

Show and smell!

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Which internet search engine does Chandler from Friends use?

Google, like everybody does.

How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one but he'll tell everybody.