Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

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Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?

Leave the plunger in the pot.

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Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

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What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at?

Czarcasm.

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Why didn't Edward get on the plane?

Cause it was snowed-in.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.