Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow?

A: To study economics.

What language do fast talkers from Moscow speak?

ian!

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What do you call the hot tub that two folks just made love in?

H2OOOHHHGG

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

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What's a black person of the United States called?

A frickin' American. What'd you expect, something racist

What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans?

Being rescued by the Americans

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Why didn't the NSA agent cross the road?

He was snowed in.

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

Snow Jokes More Snow Jokes

What did the NSA agent say when the blizzard hit?

What did the NSA agent say when the blizzard hit? Looks like we're snowed in.

Why was Justin Biber in Frozen?

Cuz aparently he likes "snow".

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Why did the suicidal air go to the airport?

So he could BLOW it up. Please don't hurt meh.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...