Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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What do you call Russian trees?

Dimitrees

What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because every time she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

What if the missing plane is still up there?

What " Did you check the sky "No." See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin.

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

How did the Somali terrorist describe his flight?

It was dynamite!"

What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

Early Year Jokes More Early Year Jokes

Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Edward Jokes More Edward Jokes

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why does Beyonce sing the song "to the left"?

Because black people have no rights...

What's the worse thing to do to a blind person?

Leave a plunger in the toilet

Aaron Hernandez Jokes More Aaron Hernandez Jokes

Where should Aaron Hernandez have hidden the evidence?

The Cowboys' endzone because no one goes there

What do Aaron Hernandez and Jared Fogle now have in common?

Matching uniforms.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why did the house go to the doctor?

He was having window pains I'm sorry

How does the Hulk make money?

He flips houses.