Snowden Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower pick up his dry-cleaning?

Because he was Snowden! (Snowed in)

Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers?

Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm.

Why couldn't the NSA go outside?

They were Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave his house this Winter?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport?

Because he got Snowden!

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Express Jokes More Express Jokes

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

Freedom Jokes More Freedom Jokes

What should you do when freedom calls?

Let it ring.

What's that?

A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* "WTH! !"

Aaron Hernandez Jokes More Aaron Hernandez Jokes

What's the first thing Aaron Hernandez learned in prison?

He's not a tight end anymore )

Where should Aaron Hernandez have hidden the evidence?

The Cowboys' endzone because no one goes there

Marshmallow Jokes More Marshmallow Jokes

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon?

Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom?

Their P is silent.

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Why was Kim Kardashian arrested at the airport?

She had two pounds of crack in her knickers.

Why can't you bring valve oil to the airport?

Because its a band substance

Accuse Jokes More Accuse Jokes

What do you call a none in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile I'm not sorry (PS, if this is a repost, I'm sorry that I didn't see the first time it got posted 2 years ago. Please don't accuse me of reposting)

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

Whistle Blower Jokes More Whistle Blower Jokes

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

he was snowden