Why couldn't the NSA do anything after the blizzard?

Because they were Snowden.

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What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

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How do apply for a job at the NSA?

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

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What do you call a whistleblower stuck in a blizzard?

Snowd-en

What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!