What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard?

We're Snowden!

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Why can't Edward leave Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

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What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

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Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower's plane leave Washington DC?

He was Edward Snowed-In.

What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

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What is Blizzard going to call StarCraft 5?

SCV.

What do you call a Canadian in a blizzard?

Cold.