Who doesn't like Turkey?

Russia.

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What do you call a duck that likes to steal?

A Robber Ducky!

Where in New York City do lesbians most like to live?

Manhatin'

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Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why is NATO afraid of Russia?

Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this.

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What sound does a Turkey make?

coup coup"

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.