Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the rich socialite's parrot say?

Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Which is the smallest profession? A mini cab driver or a micro biologist?

Neither. I have a friend who works in computers.

Why do the homies call their friend Paragraph?

Because he's too short to be an essay

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How long have you been waiting to use that joke?

He happily says, "Since 2009!"

Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times?

A: Once when you tell it once when you tell her the punchline and once when she gets it.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why is Russia a very fast country ?

Because the people are always Russian !

What is Justin Timberlake's favorite river in Russia?

Crimea River

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How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

How is snow white?

Pretty good according to the 7 dwarfs

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Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

Edward Jokes More Edward Jokes

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.