Why didn't Edward leave Russia?

Cause he was snowden.

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Why did the rooster buy mittens?

So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now

How many racecar drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.

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What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

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Why is Edward still in Russia?

He's Snowden.

Why isn't Edward leaving Russia?

because he's snowed in.