What does it take to be a president of Russia?

Be a Viktor, then you are Devinitely In

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How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

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What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.